It's always a really huge relief to hit this point in a pregnancy because you don't have to worry about having a preemie anymore. Instead, you get to waddle around and try to swat all the little pain-fears out of your head. Yep, it's coming...at some point. And yep, it's going to hurt a little. Actually, one of my favorite quotes from a story in Spiritual Midwifery is by a mom who, having been asked by her son if labor was going to hurt she answered, "It's not going to hurt, It's going to feel STRONG." I totally get that. I've done it twice before (with none of those nasty pain drugs), and my mind has always gone to the rapturous, natural force that takes you over during labor. If you think "pain pain pain" it really is "Pain Pain PAIN." But if you think STRONG, you feel strong, and in control. So that's where I'm at right now. Thinking strong thoughts, and in control thoughts, and I AM SAFE thoughts. I truly am safe. I feel great.
For now, baby M. keeps his butt and feet jammed in my ribcage and moves incessantly. Also, he hiccups almost constantly. I adore him already.
These days I'm watching a lot of "Fruits Basket" with Jonas and Simon. I'm so in love with this show. Simon had been reading the books, but he was a little perplexed by the story. Luckily, the anime version was streaming on Netflix, so we're slowly working our way through, episode by episode. It's wonderful.
I'm also reading a FANTASTIC book by Isaac Marion, "Warm Bodies." I highly recommend it. It's prosaic and haunting and weird.
Jonas is reading the Hunger Games, and so far he's really enjoying it. It's nice to be able to talk Lit with him; his feelings about certain aspects of the story are so different from mine and I really appreciate that. I'm so amazed by Jonas. As an artist, he blows my mind. His drawing skills are so amazing - so mechanical and detailed. He's become quite skilled with him Manga and I'm proud of him.
Simon insists on sleeping in underwear and one sock on his left foot. He wears a golf hat and a flannel shirt every day and he's obsessed with nyan cat. Cats in general. He's hilarious, and smart...and quite sarcastic. I'm trying to keep his sarcasm under control. Oh, and he loves the ladies. I've got my hands full with this one.
It never ceases to amaze me how kids develop their own tastes and interests - so completely different from ours as parents. And in my personal case, their tastes and interests have really rubbed off on me and become my own. Both of the boys are really interested in Japanese culture - a culture I never really learned much about. They both dream and talk together about visiting Japan. They're interested in eating Sushi now (YAY!) and both of them begin taking Kendo classes in June. Also, both of them would like to learn Japanese...which amazed me because WOW, that's complex! And now I'm dreaming about visiting Japan, too.
I love my boys. I'm so glad I'm having another one. I see so clearly now how three boys were really my "destiny." It feels perfect.
And the garden...wow, is it growing! My topsey turvey trees are growing remarkably well. Turns out the infomercial didn't lie! And my in-ground garden is sprouting nicely, too. I've got tons and tons of blossoming beauty all over my yard, and vases of cut violets on the piano. I love spring. On the housing front, I've decided to Feng Shui the house. I'm having a good time with it! It's really fun, and also really settles my nesting instincts, you know, the ones that have completely taken me over. We'll rent here for one more year, and then we'll buy here in the 'hood. We love our 'hood. I love living on a mountain top; it feels very safe. And I love living in Oregon. I love Portland.
And wow, that's about it I guess. It's a blissful time in my life - 34 years old, happily married, expecting a baby, living somewhere I love, growing things, reading books and enjoying my family. I feel lucky; I am lucky.