Friday, October 3, 2008

face hole be fair, i'd like to pre-warn you that what comes after this sentence will be pure rubbish and if you don't like rubbish you might as well go ahead and go read something else.

You're still here?  OK, then, don't say I didn't warn you.

I'm a big, huge fan of kissing.  I think kissing is great, and pretty much tops any other romantical-type act aside from and in a different category from snuggling, hand-holding, and neck nuzzling.  I enjoy kissing people that I want to kiss...oh, and animals too.  I must admit that I smooch my cat all over her fur, which she hates but tolerates.  sometimes I get some fur in my mouth, but it's not that big a deal.

I know, I know...I'm writing about kissing again.  Just stick with me here for a minute and you'll see where I'm going with this.

So, last night as Roel and I were finishing dinner, I began thinking about kissing.  I can't remember why.  Then I asked Roel where he thought kissing came from.  Was kissing instinctual?  Who gave/received the first kiss?  Roel's theory is that before humans evolved, they licked each others "anal regions" like animals do.  He then theorized that when humans began to stand, the anus was too far away and they began to clean each others mouth.  Then I said, "You mean, like a face hole?  Like, they licked each others face hole clean and thats where kissing came from?"

Roel and I had a good laugh about this, but then his expression turned a bit sour as he remembered that I get "stuck on things".  He looked a little worried when it struck him that I will probably be calling the mouth a "face hole" for the next year or more.  I just honestly think it's the funniest thing I've ever imagined.  Humans standing upright and realizing how much more pleasant the face hole is.  FACE HOLE!!!

When words started happening, did they ask one another, "Can I put my face hole on your face hole?"  At what point did this cleansing activity became pleasurable, or was it just pleasure form the getgo...I mean, I love getting clean, having a bath, brushing my teeth.  I really enjoy these activities.  Kissing just makes sense, doesn't it?  

Obviously, I didn't do any research here.  I won't do any research, either.  I find this theory remarkably wonderful.  And I love my face hole.  I love face hole activities.  I love saying face hole.


Roel Uleners said...

actually, it was jonas who wondered who 'invented kissing' - that's how it got started! face hole, my goodness...

yaffle said...

telling someone to shut their face hole would certainly have more impact than telling them to shut their mouth, I'm going to try it next time someone yells at me in the street.

MaddoxHardcore said...

This is my favourite blog in the history of blogs...

bwhahrhr said...

This is sooooooo awsome! I dont know where to start, but I think Roel's theory is spot on.

I read once that some things replaces each other in their importantce from when we humans "erected" (walked on two legs that is).

Red Lips -> Vagina
Breasts -> Ass-cheeks

So it totaly makes sense to me that:
Kissing -> cleaning anus

Oh my god and now I have that stuck in my head and dreamland awaits :P